I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if i can run in heels then i can drive
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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