So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
