So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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