So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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