That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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