whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
