i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I am one with the molecules
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
