Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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