Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Houston, we have a squirter
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
