tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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