You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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