i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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