You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
