They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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