Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
