is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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