And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize