i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
