and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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