Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize