well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
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I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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