He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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