Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
