I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
