we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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