I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I showed him my bush... on skype.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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