is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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