i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize