So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
