Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
