we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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