So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
