WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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