Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
