I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this just has baby written all over it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
