dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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