I wish I only lived at night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize