NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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