Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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