I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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