If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
