oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
