3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
