I puked a lego.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
