I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
