I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
