real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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