I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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