look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
