I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
