The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
