Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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