I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize