Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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