You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
