Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
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There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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