I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
